My Cellular Phone

Sometimes my thoughts harken to those days of yore,

Those days that preceded, those days well before,

Those days I would quietly spend all alone,

Before they invented the cellular phone.

I’m now so important, it’s critical that

Everyone knows precisely where I’m at.

And if my proximity cannot be near,

It’s crucial at least that I lend them my ear.

If I’m in an airplane up flying around,

The instant I feel the wheels touching the ground,

I reach for my belt and I turn my phone on,

To share where I am and how long I’ll be gone.

I talk really loud so folks know how it feels

To make big decisions and close business deals.

I can tell by their stares they’re in awe and agree,

They are blessed to be there in the presence of me.

It’s etched on the faces of those reading books,

(Who keep casting their eyes with inquisitive looks)

That they are intrigued by what I have to say,

That I have enlightened and brightened their day.

I’m always considerate; never a load,

I church it’s turned on the vibration mode,

Then when it starts buzzing, I whisper “Excuse.”

Step over the faithful in prayer in the pews.

And unlike some people with no class at all,

Before I respond to an incoming call,

In restaurants where I’m ingesting my food,

I try first to swallow whatever I’ve chewed.

I now can take photos, send message in text,

And God only knows what they’ll come up with next.

While using the urinal, straddling the throne,

I’m getting it done with my cellular phone.

- Wally McCall

Wally McCall, an attorney I real life was for many years the “Poet Lawreate” of our community, penning paeans about the Loxahatchee River for two of my books before retiring and being captivated by plein air painting. A few years ago, just as the smart phone pandemic was beginning to seize us, Wally wrote a poem in a self-published book, Pomeranian Pandemonium, that has proven prophetic. I think it deserves a wider audience.